Repost : Congratulations Darling!!!!!

Congratulations my darling darling girl on your engagement!!!! Love you and miss you terribly!!!

I Have No Skeletons!

There is this imbecile...or perhaps several (in my dreamworld i am, after all, WANTED by an elite organization who's sole mission is to track down the last few remaining ninjas to learn the secrets of our art) who have been breaking into my Facebook (3 times and counting...)and Twitter (twice and counting...)accounts.

I'm guessing this same moron has been trying to break into my hotmail as well cos i've been getting notifications about resetting my password

Now i can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to do this...unless of course they are members of the above elite org la.....

I mean i am not on FB anymore...have not been for more than 6 months now so you're really not gonna find anything interesting on me in there. And i'm not soo stupid to keep any of my 'naughty' emails or photos or communications online!
I do actually have a brain la.
Really!

Even if they did exist (*wink*),believe you me...they'd be kept in an adamantium safe which is guarded by my faithful bazooka-armed troblins

For the uninitiated, troblins are my own personal hybrids of goblins and trolls, specially designed to make-up my army as part of my plan to take over the world *cue Pinky and the Brain theme tune*


And really...if you want to know anything about me, just read my damn blog! Every bloody thing is laid out for you to read! You only have to spend 10 minutes reading thru my posts and you will be able to surmise the following :

1. I am not quite right in the head
2. Like most females, i have mild psychosis with a smattering of bipolar disorder
3. I am very deprived...in every sense of the word
4. As with most normal humans, i have issues with the parentals which on bad days makes me think of getting the katana out and slitting the throats of everyone in sight....again, not unlike most normal humans...i'm quite sure
5. I have an inappropriate reaction to everything...especially death...so if you find me laughing at your heartbreaking revelation that your mother is dying of stomach cancer, you've been warned........don't whine like a little bitch about it!
6. I am totally obsessed with food and sex (please see Number 3)
7. I don't like the number 6 and i love the number 7 which is why i've added this detail (please see Number 1)

So there you have it...me in a nutshell! If you're looking for scandal i'm afraid you won't find it. Hell even i've tried looking for it in a feeble attempt to convince myself that i am interesting but sadly i've turned up zilch!.....*sigh*

So as much as i'd love for you to find some 'dirt' on me and prove to people that i am at least a bit of an interesting creature, it's getting to be a right pain in the arse having to explain to everyone on Twitter that i did not and would never send out links to weight loss programs!

I am on a mission to get everyone to eat and watch as much porn as possible!

So stop it!!

*Meow*

Koala bears from the northern part of China meow


The end

Can't We Have Both?

Why is it that you can never have both the great boyfriend and great future-in-laws together? You either have the best boyfriend who absolutely loves you to death, but who has Hitler's descendants for parents; or you get the great in-laws but the KNNCCB-mother****** for a boyfriend!

Why does it always have to be one or the other? I mean is it really too much to hope for both? Is there some secret universal law that dictates that you can only have either one, else the world might spin off its axis?
And really....in the long run...which is actually the lesser of two evils?

My ex-boyfriend had just the loveliest parents. Too bad he turned out to be such a dick cos i would have loved to have had them for in-laws. To this day when they meet me they're all friendly and still treat me like one of their daughters.

On the flip side, a good friend of mine once dated this lovely guy who was practically heaven-sent. He was absolutely loving and attentive with her, and treated her like an absolute princess. Plus, he was apparently awesomeness in bed!

But his mother, on the other hand, was Lucifer's whore. She would purposely feign illness whenever he wanted to go out with my friend.....just to prevent them from seeing each other; go around telling the whole neighbourhood malicious things about my friend; and when all that failed, she eventually paid my friend a visit at her work place and told her to back off her son cos, in her own words, "I don't want my son to ever leave me" *cue Psycho-theme tune here*
A case of Oedipus in reverse?

Then there was another one who dated a guy who did drugs, visited prostitutes, and even abused her. But his parents were so lovely she actually preferred them to her own.

Oh and i also have a friend who dated this very nice, mild mannered girl who unfortunately had an abusive dad and brothers...who then eventually started abusing my friend as well!!!!

Now it may seem a very skewered or generalized observation, but it seems to me that 7 out of 10 times, you get one but not the other.
Anyone out there lucky enough to have both?

Wrong Hole

This is just too funny.......thanks Ben!

Happy Birthday Dazzie!

To the best-est friend a person could ask for.....


My pillar of strength, stealer-of-magic-milo, hussein-tom-yam and sakuntala sidekick, 'bomber-extraordinaire', Earl admirer, tart worshipper, 'Pink Princess', purveyor of bad jokes.....but most importantly.......my soulmate.......






Happy Birthday sayang feller!!!

Michael jackson live superbowl 1

Fantastic!!!!!