Snippets #4

So i finally finished my proposal!

HURRAH!!!!!!!!!

Made it 72 pages long so that they can't say no to it....heeheeheeheehee.....but if anything things are just gonna get a whole lot crazier now.....man i just can't wait to finish with this bloody course...taken half my life with it!

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Dazzie took me shopping the other day to get my first Xmas gift...a gorgeous pair of heels from Charles & Keith. It's like 5 inches high and is embellished with rhinestones...so Dazzie has christened them my Whore Shoes. Hee hee....me likey a lot! The shoes, not the title....

My shoes :p

So anyway as we were leaving (we had to park in the Premier car park at Mid Valley cos everywhere else was full) we of course had to stop at the ticket payment booth on the way out when Dazzie turns to me and says :

Can you take off your top?
What the mother??!!!!!!!
The machine says 'Flash Here'
Hello!!!! That's obviously for the season card holders!
No no. I think if you flash them they'll give you a discount. Can you just do it uh? Why else do you have such big boobs??!


I tell you if i had a dollar for everytime someone asked me to use the 'twins' to get out of a summons or to get a discount i would be a millionaire la...seriously!

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I talk so much about lastik-ing people that Chang actually bought me a sling-shot at Cash Converters! Hahahahaha. Such a darling la the boy.

So anyway we had gone for Kavi's sister's wedding and he brought the sling-shot along to give to me. Bala (yes that bugger from Waikikis) was the guest performer at the wedding and of course we made fun of him through-out the night. Me and the gang hate him with a passion cos for the past 20 years he's been playing the same shit in the exact same sequence! And would you believe it...he actually did it at the wedding! I mean come on! It's a wedding la. Enough of your thilana thilana! So Dazzie suggested we lastik him...which i was totally on board for.

Anyway we left the wedding quite early cos Chang wanted to watch his MU match. So we made our way over to Bangsar and while walking to the shop, Chang and Dazzie were actually trying to lastik the road signs. I mean....can u just picture that?!! Two 35-year olds....dressed in formal gear....lastik-ing road signs....in Bangsar!!!!!! I tell you i wanted to crawl under a rock and hide la! And they never even got close to the signs k!
Shameful!

But now Chang is insisting that i actually lastik the birds outside my window...but you know what?......i don't think i have the heart for it la.
Hmmmmm.......I know what you're thinking......Saby is part human after all.......worrying.......very worrying....

"I Went To A Booksale & Fell On My Arse!"

Ok so by now EVERYBODY has blogged about the Big Bad Book Sale that is currently going on....about the long queues, the annoying people, the lack of good titles blah blah blah

But i'm not gonna tell you bout how i finished choosing my books in about an hour but had to wait in the LONG check-out line which extended all the way from the back to the front and which i had to stand in for an HOUR AND A HALF

Neither am i gonna tell you that i bought nearly 20 books for less than RM150

Or about the annoying as arse old man behind me who complained for an HOUR AND A HALF about the long queue, and who took it upon himself to assassinate the character of practically everyone in the sale

Hell i'm not even gonna tell you bout this constipated-looking biatch who gave me the dirtiest look cos i was trying to pass by and get to the other side and this would have required her to tilt her body ever so slightly to allow me to pass cos obviously i was unaware of the fact that she had purchased the space around her as well and even though i wanted to tell her to feck off i instead gave her a look that i hoped said that eventhough i am deprived as well i don't go around with this face that suggests i'm pissed with the world and would like to go on a bloody rampage cos i'm not getting even a decent amount of action


No...no....you won't hear me talking bout all that


Instead let me tell you bout how i fell....smack on my arse!


Kavilan and I (who was soo kind enough to come and fetch me) were waiting in line to pay for our books when this lady comes and tries to pass by to go to the other side. So i moved back a little to allow her to pass and actually stumbled on the box of books behind me, and landed right on my arse....in the box of books!!!!


Now the look on Kavilan's face was just priceless...he was half torn between laughing and the other half suggested "*Sigh* It's Saby....am i really surprised!". I was of course laughing my arse off while trying to pick myself up. Told him i should get a t-shirt that read "I Went All The Way To A Booksale & Fell On My Arse!"


Oh and that old annoying uncle behind me...the owner of now what can only be considered the luckiest pile of books in the land....he couldn't even be bothered to help me up but instead he 'tsk-ed' at me for falling on his books!
Can you imagine???
Chivalry is sooo dead la.
Was soo tempted to turn around and congratulate his wife on what a smart woman i thought she was for picking an obvious gem of a man but that's the old Saby......the new one just thinks of different scenarios where the old fool falls down an elevator shaft or has exploding-diarrhea for a week :p

True Love

Kavitha forwarded this to me....was too funny....and true (!!).....not to post

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc..

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old bitch what it is."

You know i dont even have to wait for old age cos i am already there!!!

Seriously!

I am sooo bad with names and i tend to get them all mixed up which is why i just call everyone Babe or Darling or Sweetheart (yes i do swing the occasional 'sweetheart'....shocking i know!). They of course find it very endearing (*snort*), but little do they know it's just a mask for my apparently rapidly progressing Alzheimers :(

Those Damn Birds!

Hello my precious elves!

Sorry i've been AWOL for a bit. Moved back to my lovely Penang recently and have just been busy busy busy.

Have a very important deadline to meet in December so as you can imagine, i have been hyper-stressed and ansy-as-arse. I get so caught-up in my work that before i know it, it's 7am (yes.....7-freaking-am)! And then it's just a real challenge to try and sleep cos the rest of the minions are awake and going about their business.........as noisily as possible.
I mean it's 7am for crying out loud....what's there to be so chirpy about???!!!!
What happened to being grumpy and moody and telling people to go feck themselves before your morning coffee???
I tell you people are just too damn happy for my liking nowadays!

Oh and then there are the birds.........

Those damn birds right outside my window who start chirping from 6-freaking-am!!!!! I am W-T-F man!!!!!!! Of all the freakin window-sills you have to bloody perch on mine???!!! I really need to get a lastik la........now that would cheer even me up at 7am...hee heee

Back to my rambling........

So anyway then i find it hard to sleep and so i continue doing my work till i am absolutely exhausted, which is usually around 3 or 4 pm. Then i knock off till dinner time....after which the whole cycle starts all over again.

I dont mind it so much on the weekends cos at around 645am i'll drive over to Pelita and pack roti canai with 'daging' curry (remember that Anucia?....yummy). That keeps me happy....until it's finished. Then i get all cranky again and mentally start kicking myself for trying to be healthy and not ordering 2.

Well anyway the point is this past 2 weeks i've just been too cranky and stressed to blog and function like a normal human and i foresee that continuing until December...so you've been warned

Hope you guys had a great weekend though :p

Gone Too Soon

Just got back from watching This Is It....and yes, as expected, i cried through-out the whole movie



I still can't believe that he's gone



These past few weeks especially i can't seem to bear to listen to his songs cos just the sound of his voice sends me into tears







I love you


I miss you


There will never be another like you.....



All hail The King!

Repost : Congratulations Darling!!!!!

Congratulations my darling darling girl on your engagement!!!! Love you and miss you terribly!!!

I Have No Skeletons!

There is this imbecile...or perhaps several (in my dreamworld i am, after all, WANTED by an elite organization who's sole mission is to track down the last few remaining ninjas to learn the secrets of our art) who have been breaking into my Facebook (3 times and counting...)and Twitter (twice and counting...)accounts.

I'm guessing this same moron has been trying to break into my hotmail as well cos i've been getting notifications about resetting my password

Now i can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to do this...unless of course they are members of the above elite org la.....

I mean i am not on FB anymore...have not been for more than 6 months now so you're really not gonna find anything interesting on me in there. And i'm not soo stupid to keep any of my 'naughty' emails or photos or communications online!
I do actually have a brain la.
Really!

Even if they did exist (*wink*),believe you me...they'd be kept in an adamantium safe which is guarded by my faithful bazooka-armed troblins

For the uninitiated, troblins are my own personal hybrids of goblins and trolls, specially designed to make-up my army as part of my plan to take over the world *cue Pinky and the Brain theme tune*


And really...if you want to know anything about me, just read my damn blog! Every bloody thing is laid out for you to read! You only have to spend 10 minutes reading thru my posts and you will be able to surmise the following :

1. I am not quite right in the head
2. Like most females, i have mild psychosis with a smattering of bipolar disorder
3. I am very deprived...in every sense of the word
4. As with most normal humans, i have issues with the parentals which on bad days makes me think of getting the katana out and slitting the throats of everyone in sight....again, not unlike most normal humans...i'm quite sure
5. I have an inappropriate reaction to everything...especially death...so if you find me laughing at your heartbreaking revelation that your mother is dying of stomach cancer, you've been warned........don't whine like a little bitch about it!
6. I am totally obsessed with food and sex (please see Number 3)
7. I don't like the number 6 and i love the number 7 which is why i've added this detail (please see Number 1)

So there you have it...me in a nutshell! If you're looking for scandal i'm afraid you won't find it. Hell even i've tried looking for it in a feeble attempt to convince myself that i am interesting but sadly i've turned up zilch!.....*sigh*

So as much as i'd love for you to find some 'dirt' on me and prove to people that i am at least a bit of an interesting creature, it's getting to be a right pain in the arse having to explain to everyone on Twitter that i did not and would never send out links to weight loss programs!

I am on a mission to get everyone to eat and watch as much porn as possible!

So stop it!!